A missionary once said to me: "there's something about Africa that just gets under your skin." Saying that the people of Uganda "got under my skin" would be an understatement for the way my world was flipped upside-down and inside-out by my "Africa experience." The children of Uganda stole my heart right from me, and captured my soul with their joy: in l'ugandan--ESSANYUSA.
These past few weeks I have been feeling so homesick for Uganda, and I ask the Lord -- why? why can't I just accept that this summer, I am called to serve wholeheartedly in America. Why do I feel so homesick? Why Lord? Why do I pray every night that I will somehow lay my head down on my American pillow and wake up back in Uganda. Why do I miss those children so much when there are so many children in America that need love too? Why isn't right here and right now enough for me? Why?
As I feel the Spirit whisper to my heart:
My grace is sufficient
Why do I miss Africa so much Lord? I want to be content
My grace is sufficient
For nights, I couldn't sleep and I sat in my bed, trying to understand why I felt so torn. Why did I feel like I flew 7,193 miles away from my heart and couldn't get it back.
"Why?" was the question that wouldn't stop weighing down my thoughts.
It is such a blessing that we serve a God who is Sovereign and can answer Himself. In Habakkuk, the prophet takes the people's questions and lays them at the Lord's feet. The Lord so graciously answers a people so undeserving, and Habakkuk takes the Lord's answers back to the people. I am in awe that we have a God who even cares to listen to us. Who am I to question the Author of Life, the King of Kings? Who am I that the Lord would be mindful of me?
The Lord so graciously revealed to me, and answered the cry of my heart: Why am I so homesick for Uganda, Lord?
- -You, my daughter, are homesick for heaven--
It finally made sense. That's why.
So humbly and so gently the Father opens the eyes of my heart each and every day to the way He is working and alive in our midst; today and every day. I wasn't homesick for Uganda, I was homesick for heaven. My soul is so thirsty for eternity with my Father.
That is the cry of my heart- heaven is home; all my inmost being thirsts to be with Christ alone; to sit at His beautiful feet from now until eternity. It made sense. It finally made sense
I open the eyes of the blind
Uganda was a beautiful glimpse of heaven.
In Uganda, I saw the face of God. So often when people ask me about my experience in Uganda, I have to ask them how much time they have on their hands. I could fill 20 seconds and I could fill 5 hours with all the stories of the Lord's wonders.
As I try to put my experience in Africa into words, the same verse rings repeatedly in my ears:
1 Corinthians 6:10 "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, yet possessing everything."
"sorrowful yet always rejoicing"~~ The people of Uganda had lives that, according to any worldly source, would be filed under 'sorrow.' From child soldiers to human trafficking; from starvation to murder- it all spoke 'sorrowful.' Yet their hearts sang a completely different song. Their lives reflected nothing less than joy- as they continued to rejoice in all things. Their lives and situations and families were so sorrowful and ever full of tragedy; yet their hearts somehow danced before the Lord, singing songs of praise to Jesus all day, every day. Somehow, they rejoiced. Their joy wasn't because a meal was on the table. Their joy wasn't because their family was healthy. Their joy wasn't because of anything this world could offer. Because they had none of those things. Their joy was, quite literally, in CHRIST alone. They rejoiced in the cross of their Savior- Jesus Christ. Jesus is more than enough.
"poor yet making many rich"~~poverty seemed to fill the atmosphere as I walked the red dirt roads of Uganda. Children ran barefoot with cuts and bruises up their tiny black legs; yet their smiles were so big that they were contagious and every time, I couldn't help but smile back. Women were so skinny that there seemed to be nothing on them but bones; yet they were quick to offer up their only piece of bread to the first hungry child that walked through their door. They were rich. so rich. the kind of richness I want. They were rich of life, and love and joy; rich of Jesus and rich in smiles; rich in generosity and rich in peace; rich in patience and gentleness. rich in nothing this world classifies as rich; yet I could just see Jesus looking down
with you I am well pleased
I was made rich just by their hearts that sang loud and proud "Jesus is enough." I now feel a thirst for richness; not of what this world definies richness as; however, that which our heavenly Father calls us to. Rich in love-- Christ's love. I was humbled every day by the people of Uganda and the way their richness could make others rejoice in the cross.
"having nothing yet possessing everything"~~what does that even mean? Lord, how can you have nothing yet possess everything.
I spent one of my days in Uganda with Teacher Lydia. She is a woman who is so in love with Jesus that my heart swells at the though of her. She overflows with the Spirit and I am thankful beyond words that I could learn so much from her about the Lord. he Lord's Word is sweeter than honey to her lips; the mere mention of the cross made her heart dance around the room.
One day, she was telling me of the glorious wonders the Lord has performed in her life. Not only did He free her from sin through the marvelous cross, but He blesses her every day even though she deserves nothing.
--'blesses you?' I though to myself. how can you say that? How can you see the Lord's hand when you are struggling to feed your family. How can you praise the Lord in such struggle?--
She told me of how she may not have beautiful dresses or elaborate jewlery; but because of Jesus, she has everything. She has life and life to the full; all because of the cross.
Wow. can I get an amen?
Amen
Its not what they have, but who they have.
Jesus Christ
Jesus is more than enough
I praise Jesus so much for making us alive; for being our Bread of Life and our Almighty King; for loving us even when we don't love Him back; for the people of Uganda; for all the ways I saw God's hand and for the many more miracles to come; for the rays of sunshine of the laughter of a child; for the flowers and for family; I praise Him that we are washed white of our sins because of His blood. I praise Him for the cross. I praise Him.
<3 06.06.13 <3
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