just because

The anthem of my life is that God does amazing wonders and for some reason, in His infinite grace, chooses to take me along for the ride. I honestly believe all the books in the world could not fill how many times I have seen His hand at work and His promises proved true. I am so much like doubting Thomas, so thirsty to see the scars in Jesus' hands instead of just believing. And for some reason He reveals Himself to me, every single day. In the laugh of a child or in an answered prayer, in the joy of a heart felt conversation or the deep sorrow of losing a dear friend. He is there through it all. He is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore. He is the calm in the storm, and if we fix our eyes on Him, it feels like we can walk on water even when the tides are raging.

I don’t think I will never understand the goodness of a King who leaves His throne. He is faithful when I am faithless. He rains His grace on my prone to wander soul, time and time again--when I don’t deserve a single bit of it! I am so much like the eldest son, thinking that I am entitled to my Father's love. I am so quick to be a Pharisee, thinking I know more than I ever will, as I build my house on the sand and fix my eyes on fleeting earthly passions. I continually tell myself that I have it all together.
When In reality, I am just a little lost sheep desperately in need of her Shepherd.

My sweet sweet Shepherd. He shows me so much of Himself that by the time I start to write it down, He is already on to the next thing. People ask me what my favorite book of the Bible is; and today—it’s definitely Acts. But tomorrow... who knows. Because the second I think I know the Word, His truths somehow seem to fall fresh on my heart.

I yearn for the day that we will sit with Him. Some days I just want it more than I want my next breath. But then I am reminded that we need to bring as many with us as we can! We need to continue the fight and proclaim His name, because we will be with Him soon enough

Psalm 96:4 <3

 

 

 

 

Thankful

FAMILIAAA:

My dad makes it so easy for me to believe in a God who loves deeply and protects His children because that's what he has always done for me<3

My mama. She's my role model. She's my everything. Her love is insane. If I'm half the woman of God she is someday, that will be enough<3

IM OBSESSED WITH MY BROTHER HE IS PERFECT. Literally I love him to an unhealthy level. Broseph Tolson. His heart for Jesus. His crazy dynamic duo with Jamie (also this boy Jamie is one of the most joyful, encouraging, God-fearing guys you will ever meet. so thankful that we basically adopted him into the fam). 

Joe. wow Joe. my brother though. His heart for God's Word. His love for Uganda.&& on top of all that he is SO TALENTED! It's not even fair to the rest of the world-- sooo athletic, artsy and what not, super musical, so brainy.. the list goes on..

&& it's been 20 years and somehow he can always make me laugh<3 Always

Bubby, Puppy and Danno<3 These 3 little ones (NOT SO LITTLE ANYMORE) have forever changed my life! My basically adopted Egyptian babies<3

SISTAHHHS:

Watching maggiesakSAKKKI fall head over heels in love with Jesus! This girl doesn't settle for anything but the TRUTH. she started seeking and pursuing truth relentlessly, and found herself at the foot of the cross. Now she's proclaiming His name like crazy. she is a treasure in my life<3

Frances takemoto is the sunshine of my life && she reminds me to find joy in the little things:)

I prayed for an angel and I got one-- her name is Mahum. Get to know her. She'll change your life.

Naureens-adorable and encouraging and FULL OF LIFE and joyful && sooooo compassionate all the time. I love you bunches<3 

Been lovin beccaboooo since diapers. && she dresses up in holiday costumes with me. that's sacrifice right there<3

Lienna goes OUT OF HER WAY to love others. And she's hilarious at all times:)

Maria muchapinya. Never met a girl who is ALWAYS down to work out.  Plus she has the most beautiful heart <3

Brooke smith. Been lovin you long time. I love our adventures. I love that our friendship is stronger than interaction && so not dependent in occasion. I just love you

Asmi. This girl. So honest. SO FUNNY. so beautiful. so genuine. And she never stops sharing her heart with others. Love how real we can be<3

AnniePas- the PURE-ESTTT of pure hearts && a deep deep love for the truth of the gospel

Cassie- your heart for the lost&& your eagerness to pray

EmPetersen- dreams OH SO big for the Kingdom<3

Marilyn's phrases make life worth living #bless #dtm #Gba 

GROVERS:

Taylor lakes encouragement

Lyssie-I could talk to you about anything at any time. its so great(:

Shannon mcdade and I could live forever in harbison with nothin but food and Jesus. See you never (aka freshman year) 

Andrea's kindness&& intentionality (so so so intentional!)

Zoe's honesty && eagerness to listen

Malrumls compassion

Hannah mccarrr's pure beauty

Kaitlyn makes me tea and cleans the room and prints my papers. And more than all that-- she helps me know Jesus better:) 

My big is IN LOVE with Jesus. Its so great:) 

My little. My first baby. My joy. && she is a PRAYER WARRIOR!

Kara attlesons perseverance

Mic constantly spurs basically everyone around her on to love the Lord more

Kristin tomtoms patience 

Baby ri has a heart of GOLD! Not afraid to be exactly who she is<3 

Sammie wild- I feel so lucky to sit near her in TWO classes! She loves our Lord a lot:)

Caroline McNamara. This girl. She worships Jesus with her LIIIFEEEEE! Plus we've been to over 9 states and driven for over 50 hours together so that's pretty cool! And every time was to go hang out with Jesus:)

Em hillstroms is the most patient roomie ever! putting up with my mess and high maitenance self. I don't know how you did it. 

Autumn Shank's grace. especially during lab... IM SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO BE LAB PARTNERS WITH ME. God will bless your suffering

Amy Trag's not afraid to be real

Christa Currier focuses on the eternal even when everyone around her isn't

Sarah Asher. I miss you daily. You changed mahh life. Your love for the Lord's Word is insane. Your eagerness to follow His will is crazy amazing. You remind me that we serve such an awesome King<3

Gamma sig babies are perfect. Babies forever. They bless me just by being alive<3 #obsessed

RANDOM:

Hazelnut iced coffee

Summer thunderstorms

Bonfires

Sandy toes

When someone's laugh is funnier than the joke 

Acoustic guitar 

The smile of a little one 

Raindrops on morning flowers 
Painting a canvas

That feeling you get on Christmas morning 

The way the light shines through a broken window and makes a rainbow all over the room

Pumpkin anything 

BABIES 

Romans 8 

&& more than all this, we know that we don't give thanks to the gift, we give thanks to the Giver.

So thankyou Jesus. thanks for continually pouring out blessings to us, just so that we might know You more<3 

Remembering David Arthur

David Arthur. David was the guy who lived 8 houses down from me. David was the guy who I stood next to in marching band for a year. I would always wait for David’s register at chickfila because he never ceased to make every customer smile. I loved seeing David at every Tuesday night Biblestudy, Sunday morning service and Friday night outreach. He wasn’t one of my closest friends, but his presence blessed my life more than I will ever be able to say.

One of my favorite things was watching David fall in love with Jesus. The Lord captured his heart and totally changed the way he saw this life. I loved hearing about his heart for others to know the surpassing love of Jesus. David's joy was deeply rooted, his jokes were hysterical, his smile was contagious, and his heart overflowed with compassion.

 Last week, David committed suicide. 

 

There aren’t really any words to articulate the feelings that are spinning restlessly in all of our hearts.

Continuous grief, unbearable pain, devastating, heart wrenching—they all feel like understatements. There is nothing like it in this life. People all throughout Maryland were touched by David’s love and joy; I have never seen so many people hurting over a death.

But for some reason, every time there’s a suicide, people make it all “hush, hush.” Everyone tries to cover it up and not really say what happened. They talk about the person, they talk about the pain, but they don’t ever say “suicide.” The word itself puts weight on any conversation. But I decided-- I’m not going to cover this up. David committed suicide. But I will not let his moment of darkness invalidate the life of light he lived.

David lived a life of light.

We are not defined by a single moment in our lives, but rather the moments that make up the whole.

Despite his moment of darkness, David lived a life of light.  

So how do we find comfort and hope in the midst of such hurt..

The same way David found it. The cross. The marvelous cross. The blood that Jesus shed on that glorious day 2,000 years ago changed it all. God took on flesh so that we might have life.  Jesus suffered one of the most gruesome deaths. But his perfect love could not be overcome. He rose to life and made a way for sinners to be redeemed; the sacrifice of the perfect lamb for a people underserving. We have guaranteed victory because of the cross.

But where does that fit in right now? Right now, it seems like evil has won.

But it hasn’t. Guaranteed victory doesn’t mean easy wins. Evil might have gotten a punch, but we have already won because of Jesus. Yes, David gave into temptation. Yes, David was overwhelmed with darkness. Yes, David committed suicide. But the only yes that matters is the YES, David is forgiven.  David was just as forgiven in that moment of sin as he was in the moment before, as he will be forevermore. David is justified by faith through Jesus’ grace. Nothing can separate him from that grace.

The grace of the cross reaches all things. Jesus’ grace reaches all things… Even suicide. Because Jesus isn’t dependent on us. So last week, when David took his own life, Jesus welcomed him with open arms and said- Oh wanderer, come as you are. Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal. Welcome to paradise. Welcome home.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Every Tuesday night after Bible study, a group of us would go out for chickfila milkshakes. David was never satisfied until we were all sitting together. He would pull 4/5 tables together and somehow get enough chairs for everyone to have a spot.  It was such a picture of how David lived his life- including everyone.. I can just picture David at the feast of the Lord’s table right now. I bet he is making everyone laugh, pulling up chairs so that everyone has a spot. And that’s what David did in this life. He loved others, he made others laugh, he shared the truth of the gospel in action and in truth, so that some might find salvation, and be pointed towards the seat that Jesus has for them at the table.

#RememberingDavidArthur

 

 

CAMP!

I'm thankful for morning worship && diving deep into Scripture with my perfect staff; sweet sounds on the playground && baby-oil covered slip and slides; organized mass chaos fridays && picnics with my pioneers; the prayer of a five year old && the endless games of duck duck goose; sweet little eyes that stare back at me with love && the way a child's joy whispers to my restless heart-- be thankful to be alive. 


"On earth as it is in heaven" sums up this summer at camp pretty well-- && Jesus gets the glory for it all! He was just kind enough to take us all along for the ride<3